A Guide To Lubricants
“Should I use lube? What kind should I use? There are so many different options, how do I decide? “
Many people view personal lubricants as a solution to a “problem,” or as a hindrance to authentic sexual satisfaction. But the fact is lubricants can increase pleasure, safety, and satisfaction for anybody at any age. Intercourse can be uncomfortable when dry, or even lead to micro tearing of the vaginal wall, increasing risk of infection. Shopping for lube can be a challenge because not all personal lubricants are right for everybody (and some lubes aren’t really right for anybody). Picking out a lubricant can be an overwhelming decision. Check out the following information to make the experience less daunting.
WHAT TYPE OF LUBE IS BEST FOR YOU?
There are four major types of personal lubricants classified by their primary ingredients. Each type of lube has particular strengths and weaknesses which make it better suited for specific activities, uses, personal preferences, and bodies.
SILICONE
Pros
§ Hypoallergenic
§ Longest lasting
§ The Importance of Using Lube
§ Compatible with all safer sex barrier methods
Cons
§ Not always compatible with solid silicone sex toys.
WATER
Pros
§ Feels most like the body’s natural lubrication
§ Compatible will all safer sex barrier methods and sex toys.
Cons
§ Will dry out the quickest of any type of lubricants.
§ Generally contains the longest ingredients list and is most likely to be potentially irritating, especially for those with sensitive skin, compromised immune systems or compromised mucous membrane integrity.
OIL (Only plant-based products - not petrolatum- are recommended)
Pros
§ Hydrates and improves the elasticity of sensitive, fragile and thinning skin over time.
§ Lasts longer than water based products, but not longer than silicone products,
§ The only type of lubricant that is actually 100% organic.
§ Compatible with all non-toxic sex toy materials.
Cons
§ Not compatible with latex safer sex barriers.
§ Takes longer to clear out of the body than other types of lubricants, therefore is not recommended for people for experience chronic, recurring bacterial vaginosis, yeast overgrowth and/or urinary tract infections,
HYBRID
Pros
§ Less likely to cause irritation than water based lubricants, but not considered hypoallergenic.
§ Lasts longer than water based lubricants, but not as long as silicone based lubricants.
§ Compatible with all safer sex barriers and sex toy materials.
Cons
§ A relatively new product with less information available.
It’s worth taking a closer look at water-based lube.
There are two major characteristics particular to water based lubes that are more accurate predictors of their safety than any one ingredient -- pH and osmolality. First, let’s look at pH. If you experience burning or stinging when you use lube, the information on this page could be really important! What is pH? pH is the measure of a solution’s acidity or basicity on a scale from 0-14. A pH of 0 would be the most acidic, a pH of 14 would be most basic, and a pH of 7 would be neutral.
Vaginal pH
Vaginal pH plays an important role in the immune function of the vulvovaginal microbiome, as it helps maintain the balance of healthy bacteria and yeast, and acts as a defense against pathogen transmission. Vaginal pH naturally changes throughout the menstrual cycle and is closely tied with estrogen and progesterone levels. As the body changes with menopause, or other causes of decreased estrogen, the pH of the vagina rises from 3.5-5.5 to closer to 6-7. This is a completely natural occurrence which doesn’t necessarily reflect poor health; however, it does leave the genitals more susceptible to BV, UTIs, yeast overgrowth, or pathogens. When combined with other effects of low estrogen this raise in pH can create an environment where very acidic lubricants cause burning or stinging.
Anal pH
Anal pH is closer to neutral, usually between 6 and 7, and remains in this range consistently throughout hormone fluctuations and the lifespan. pH inside of the anus and rectum helps protect the mucous membranes there from absorbing anything harmful, and acts as a buffer between alkaline fecal matter and the body. Many personal lubricants have pH values around 4 or 5, so if they’re used rectally, especially in a body with any lesions, sores, or openings in the rectal mucous membranes, they may cause stinging and irritation. Finding a lubricant with a pH closer to 6-7 may be more appropriate for the anal environment. Silicone and plant oil-based lubricants are also extremely popular for anal play, and don’t have pH values to worry about!
INGREDIENTS TO AVOID
Do NOT Buy a Lube With these Ingredients!
Glycerin(e)- a sugar alcohol that has anecdotally been linked with yeast overgrowth and
directly corresponds with increased osmolality. Any water based lubricant that has glycerine in its first three ingredients is more likely to be significantly hyperosmotic.
Propylene Glycol- a chemical derived from petroleum (aka “petrochemical”) which has been linked with BV and is a sensitizer, meaning the more you’re exposed to it the more likely you are to have allergic reactions to it. Any water based lubricant that has propylene glycol in its first three ingredients is more likely to be significantly hyperosmotic.
Nonoxynol 9 & Chlorhexidine Gluconate- both of these ingredients are surface acting agents (aka “surfactants”), which change the surface tension and permeability of cell membranes. Both are designed to kill microbes in an effort to make them sterile or antiseptic, but this also kills healthy bacteria and compromises epithelial cell integrity. These ingredients, as used in lubricants, can lead to a burning or stinging sensation, and leave the body more susceptible to STI and pathogen transmission for 24-27 hours.
Petroleum Oils- these oils are ideal breeding grounds for bacteria and take a long time to be cleared from inside of the body, so they’re never recommended for use as a personal lubricant.
Polyquaternium-15- used as a preservative and skin adherent in a limited number of water based lubricants and spermicides. It can enhance viral activity and infectivity of HIV and potentially similar viruses, so it’s not advisable to use in situations where STI contraction or transmission is possible.
Benzocaine- a numbing ingredient that is a potential skin irritant. Numbing lubes can be used responsibly, but it’s important to remember to listen to the body’s pain responses. If penetration or friction is painful, numbing ingredients will not solve the problem, and the body will continue to react to pain or irritation even if the sensation has been dulled. Continuing painful activities, with or without numbing products, can actually lead to increased or chronic pain.
Sugars- some lubricants use sugars, like glucose, honey, or maltodextrin, for flavor. However, all of these ingredients can feed yeast, dry sticky or tacky, and throw off the natural balance of the vulvovaginal environment; therefore, they’re not recommended for internal use.
LUBRICANT RECOMMENDATIONS
Silicone (ok with condoms) (NOT for use with silicone vibe) (great for daily moisture)
Uberlube
Sliquid Silver
Pjur Woman
Pjur Med Soft Glide
Water-Based (ok with condoms) (important to get pH balanced)
Sliquid Sassy
Pjur Med Repair Glide Water Based
Yes
Good Clean Love
Aloe Cadavra
Sliquid Organics
Oil-Based (good for scar care) (NOT ok with condoms) (NOT recommended as lubricant with penetration)
Yes oil
Vitamin E
Rosehip Oil
Coconut Oil
Daily Topical Moisturizers (a must for post-menopausal vaginal atrophy, and dryness during the postpartum period)
Medicine Mama’s V Magic
Womaness Daily V Sooth
Julva
Vital ‘V’ Wild Yam Salve
Good Clean Love Hyaluronic Acid
Revaree
Enchanted Rose Organic Vaginal Moisturizer
Do I need pelvic floor therapy?
It all begins with an idea.
Everyone should see a pelvic floor therapist! Our pelvic floor muscles support our internal organs, maintain strength to hold the contents of our bladder and bowels, and relax to facilitate urination, bowel evacuation, sexual activity and childbirth. With a job as important as this, wouldn’t you want to know if your pelvic floor was functioning properly?
That being said, these are the specific pelvic health symptoms that indicate your pelvic floor may not be functioning optimally:
BLADDER
Do you leak urine with any activity or exercise?
Do you go to the toilet more than once every 2-3 hours?
Do you experience a strong urge to go to the bathroom and have difficulty holding on?
Are you unable to stop the flow of urine? (Please note that we do NOT encourage this as an exercise but can be a helpful once-off test)
Do you have difficulty starting the stream of urine?
Are you unable to completely empty your bladder?
BOWEL
Do you experience difficulty holding stool in?
Do you have any trouble getting everything out?
Do you experience constipation requiring you to strain to empty your bowels?
SEXUAL
Do you have ANY pain with sex? Keep in mind that 'pain' can range from mild discomfort to intense, sharp burning pain.
Do you struggle to reach orgasm?
PAIN
Do you have any discomfort or pain around the vulva (or labia) with tight clothing or light touch to the area?
Do you have any pain with urinating or bowel movements?
Do you have any pain in the vagina?
Do you have any sharp stabbing pains into the rectum OR abdomen?
PROLAPSE
Do you feel any heaviness or pressure in the vagina or rectum?
Have you noticed a bulge into the vagina or the feeling of something 'falling out'?
OTHER
Do you have tailbone pain lasting more than one month?
Do you have pain in your pubic bone, sacro-iliac joint (SIJ), lower back, hip or groin that doesn't respond to regular treatment?
Do you have separation of the abdominals (diastasis recti) that causes pain, discomfort, or makes exercise difficult?
How do I know if my son/daughter needs pelvic floor therapy?
You DON’T have to continue feeling frustrated, overwhelmed and worried about your child’s incontinence.
A lot of parents- and even physicians!- have never heard of pelvic floor therapy for children. Instead, children are prescribed stool softeners for an indeterminate amount of time, or silently suffer the humiliation of wetting their pants and being left out of social functions. There ARE holistic, client-centered solutions for children with pelvic floor dysfunction.
Does Your Child:
Struggle to keep their underwear clean and dry?
Feel embarrassed because they still wet the bed at night?
Feel fearful or anxious about letting poop or pee out into the toilet?
Have sensory differences that are affecting their toileting skills, like not being able to feel the urge to poop or pee?
Seem to show “readiness signs” of starting the potty learning process, but you don’t know what the best “method” to use is?
Do You Want Your Child:
To be able to go to the bathroom on their own at school/daycare, home and out in the community without needing constant reminders?
To stop using medication as the only way to manage their constipation?
To stop having to wear pull-ups and to wear clean, dry underwear comfortably?
To be able to participate in fun social activities like play dates, sleep-overs, sports, dance and other social activities without worrying about having leaks?
To be happy, confident and dry?
You DON’T have to continue feeling frustrated, overwhelmed and worried about your child’s incontinence. We want you to know that we are here to hold space for all those feelings and help address your concerns with a holistic and integrative approach. There ARE alternatives to treatment besides the “just wait and see” or “they’ll outgrow it”. We offer individual therapy sessions and parent coaching sessions both in-person telehealth. Contact us for more information!